it's a mystical bond between man and machine

Sunday, April 30, 2006 | 9:22 AM

so nice last night show Die Hard With A Vengeance or something like that. well there's this white cop who dunno has some sorta mission. then he's like forced to put on a card with a racist message. one black shopkeeper comes over and warns him to get away. a group of blacks come over to attack the white guy. so the shopkeeper helps him and they suffer quite serious injuries. so, they're not racist. the white man just had some kind of mission.

turns out that white cop is part of FBI or something. and there's this criminal who is spying on them often, esp the white cop. so well the two ppl return to the police hq. this criminal, self-styled Simon, calls them and tells them to do things, otherwise he'll bomb a train or something. he says Simon Says when he gives them instructions they must do. first destination: a phone booth at some roadside. then got this old lady rofl hogging the phone. so they force her away, she curses, and Simon calls. then he tells them got a bomb right beside them in the dustbin. then those 2 run off in different directions, telling the crowd to head for cover. Simon laughs (lols). turns out that was fake cos he didn't say Simon Says (-.-).

second destination: a place far away they must reach in 20 minutes. have to go to the phone booth at a train station. the white man goes to the train, they know there's a bomb, he goes up there and discovers it. he's trying to get rid of it. meanwhile, the black man is at the phone booth. he forces a man away, and a cop is facing him with a gun. he tells the cop calmly that "if you need to shoot me, go ahead. but i HAVE TO ANSWER. THIS. CALL." so he doesn't fecking care, and he answers the call. Simon, duh. he says its too late haha. the black guy, obviously prepared, tells everyone to trust him, to lie down and put their hands on their head. so the train that the white man is on reaches the station. the white cop finally smashes the window and throws the bomb out. the bomb exploded with unbelievable force. rofl i was simply flabbergasted. the whole train turned like 90 degrees. dunno if any died. the white man is, as it is, successful in disposing of the bomb in such a way that HE didn't die. well the train station also exploded UPWARDS. incredible isnt it. got so much smoke outside. bet Simon wanted the train to explode so as to warn the duo about what he's capable of.

ok 3rd destination. i can't remember the hoolala but well the team of 2 eventually reach a fountain in a park, they see a briefcase containing the supposed bomb (no creativity, everytime in briefcase one) and Simon calls. tells them to get a 5-gallon jug, a 3-gallon jug, fill one of them with 4 gallons EXACTLY, put on the bomb, it will stop counting down. obviously the jug with 5-gallon capacity, the other could'nt hold 4 gallons. anyway i didn't see the part where they filled, i've heard of these problems though. well in the end they're successful, Simon calls and tells them shit. meanwhile, Simon is alr at the bank, carrying truckloads (FULL TRUCKLOADS IMAGINE THAT) of 100% genuine gold bars. turns out the bombs were fake, including the bombs Simon "planted in schools". he only wanted the gold bars. by this time, the white cop realises that and tells the black guy to give the bomb to a grp of police officers, all of whom are under Simon, obviously fakes. but then they let the black guy go. so the white man enters the bank, in the lift he disposes of 4 of Simon's men with his gun rofl and was splattered with THEIR blood, not his. so he walks out into the ruins of the train station or something, i remember the black guy walking in, shouting "DON'T SHOOT, ITS ME!" ah well they see a gold bar lying around. by this time, they realise what Simon has done. so they take over a car, and drive quickly to a group of dumptrucks driving off. they catch one, turns out its not Simon's men. so the white man uses the truck, and drives into a 60-mile long tunnel under construction, and gives chase (lols) to the real Simon's men in front. dunno where the black guy went, probably to do preparations or something. then when's he's stuck, they flood the tunnel with incredible speed. the white man luckily catches a ladder at the top of the giant tunnel, and escapes into a fountain. HALT WHATS UP WITH THIS? HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO DAMNED LUCKY AS TO SUDDENLY, RIGHT ON THE SPOT, BE ABLE TO CATCH THE GODDAMN LADDER. ITS AT THE TOP OF THE TUNNEL! AND HE JUST MANAGES TO FIND AND GET IT? rofl. well there was a water spout and he flew out of it lols. he escapes into the car the black man was driving, and they escape death once again.

in the end, they discover that Simon and the rest are on a ship. so here it is, they're on a suspension bridge 150 feet above the water, and the ship is there. the black guy wanted to jump, but the white guy decided to use the car's rope. hooked onto a long thingy, and they climb down slowly. when they realise the rope is used up, its too late. anyway they fall 20 feet onto a container. these guys have 9 lives, i swear. well blah blah, thne the black man gets captured by Simon. and so does the white man eventually. since he knows they're gonna die, he asks for headache medicine, which Simon gives to him. Simon leaves the duo tied to a real bomb. and its incredibly big. but they escape, thanks to the black man and white guy's helping each other. the black guy can pick locks, and he used a steel stick which the white man found. so they manage to escape to one side of a ship. as they jump, the ship exploded. forceful chain explosion.

so here they are. they think they're safe, the white man gets a coin and calls his wife, whom he hasnt called for a year. ok here's the funny part. on the back of the medicine that Simon gave the white man, there's a kind of address or sth. turns out it is the name of a place in the city. so the duo (and all the other cops) rush to that place immediately. the two give chase in a helicopter, which is shot down by Simon's men. Simon, incidentally (with his girl) is also in a helicopter. with only one bullet left, the white man has difficulty trying to aim at a correct spot. in a moment of justice, he shoots at an electrical wire. lo and behold, the cut circuit wire lands on the helicopter blades. rofl u can actually see the electricity flying around. so duh in a flash of light (jk) the helicopter explodes. its game over for Simon, forever. so the white man and the black man celebrate.

that's basically the end. phew isn't it. there are some more bits inside but it'll definitely be too long to read. it probably already is. haiz its sunday again. mep practical this friday. need to practise hard. bb. hope u enjoyed the recount :)